That's My baby....

We went today to identify Charlie.

I said I could not see him again, Charles was going to go in and identify him for the cremation. I stood outside of the curtain, Pastor Chuck asked me if I wanted to go see him, reminded me that this was the last time I would be able to see him.

I thought about it, walked toward the curtain, saw his cradle and lost it. I started saying "I can't do it, I can't do it" Pastor Chuck said it was ok, and Charles walked over to him.

When I saw Charles with him, I suddenly felt calm. I always felt calm around the two of them, they were always meant to be. I asked everyone if they would leave, and I walked over to my son.

I felt... safe. He was beautiful, there was no doubt, that was my baby. Minus the smiles and giggles.. That was my boy. My heart.

I picked him up, cradled him one last time, then as I did when he was alive, I handed him to his daddy.

We laid Charlie back down, covered him back up. I put a picture of him and daddy in one of his pockets, and a picture of me in his other pocket, that way, we were always with him, forever.

Charlie will be cremated sometime tomorrow, but he will be with us forever.